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I usually find the Onion mocks the right more than the left, but it's good to balance it out a bit. We can laugh at ourselves too. The purpose of satire is to find a deeper truth after all.
Local liberal pats self on the back for being able to read this headline without immediately denouncing The Onion, tallies such tolerance as a win for how bipartisan their side can be.
Glad to see The Onion ripping into both sides of the dipshit aisle. This is satire folks, not meant to be taken seriously or offensively...it just points out the absurd and laughs at it
Tomi Lahren would later use this occurrence to help her define anyone that votes for a Democratic candidate as a, "snowflake," advising them to "buckle up, buckaroos".
The WSJ terrorizes them exactly because it shows them their future. They will abandon all pretense at socialist economic reform or anti-imperial military policies and vote Democrat to appease their "nice guy" sensibilities only. Give the plebes a scattering of crumbs. Pepper the public landscape with firsts (first African American this, first Hispanic woman that, etc.). But leave the great wheel of fetishized consumption grinding, no matter who or what gets caught in its spokes and tread. They will become "rational," meaning, ironically, that their materialistic desires will outweigh their commitment to societal improvement. Onward Brad. Go forth Jenny. Claimeth thy six figures, thy prohibitive real estate, thy latte habit, thy pink hat, thy many-purchased concience.
At last report, protestors brandishing copies of The Anarchist Cookbook were seen battling counter protestors armed with copies of The Turner Diaries. The local public library is expected to remain closed through the weekend.
John White this is perfect :D
"At press time, a black-clad group of 50 students were throwing bottles at the bench while chanting, “No Nazis, No KKK, No Fascist U.S.A!”
"Campus faculty assured students that Robert Reich had purified the desecrated bench and that trigger warnings would hence forth be provided when glossy, magazine-style sheets of paper would be present in class."
Oh my sad misguided alma mater. Someone should alert the campus republicans that they can host any speaker they like at any time of day or night in Sproul Plaza.
The Creative Writing faculty called into emergency session to formulate biting chants for the scheduled protests. At press time "Hey hey, Ho ho" is as far as they've gotten.